Rule #1: Stop Being So Logical, pt. 2
In part 1, I quickly discussed how Cognitive Dissonance, Learned Helplessness, grit and resiliency all of make sense. They do and the concepts are pretty damn smart. The problem is, we are all liars, emotional and at times pretty friggin’ stupid. Motivation wanes, those doughnuts look and smeLLLLLLL Delicious. Peanut Butteeeer Cuppppssss…YUM! Excuses abound starting with, “My favorite show is on,” and ending with, “F’ you, I’m not going to walk on the treadmill and watch it. I’m going to sit with my salsa and tortilla chips and enjoy me a good two hour American Idol, because I work hard, I’m raising a family and I DESERVE IT!”
What the hell do you say to that? OK….
Then I want to get all Tony Robbins on your ass. You must find your why! There’s a million different ways to change, and they all work. But without a strong enough why, you won’t change. This, now this is true. And this is where we should start. Most people’s whys if they’re telling the truth are complete and utterly LOGICAL…and hence, Stupid! I want to be in better shape. Bullshit. You wouldn’t know what being in better shape entailed to you if it walked past you. What you want is go to the beach, see your ex, who’s fat and be like, look motherf’r…I look Good. And why? Because you’re not happily married with two kids? Yeah, sure you are, but the truth is that there are few things sweeter than the sweet taste of saying, “Look at me now you stupid……..” (You can fill in your own words with that.) And that’s the start of stop being so Logical.
You see these are the reasons we need to get started. Emotional, insane, stupid and completely asinine reasons. Yet they work.
The difference between beginners that start these “crazy” reasons and those that start out logically, sometimes with a whole gameplan intact is that discipline will never trump true desire. Logical reasons make sense and inspire you for a total of 2 days. After that, discipline keeps you going, typically for another 7 days. By day 10, you’ve already come up with enough justifications to not step into the gym for at least another year.
Emotional reasons on the other hand develop deep down desire and have the completely opposite effect. You’re not finding justifications to miss going to the gym, but instead are finding justifications to go more. You don’t need nearly as much discpline and will-power because it’s something you can want, something you can see, feel and taste. The emotional tangles have you in it’s grips…and that’s where you need to start. And sure, people that stick with it long term have added a couple of logical reasons and have learned to fit it into their schedules a bit better, but that’s not how they started.
They started out without a ton of knowledge, without a perfect workout plan and diet, they’ve tripped, fallen and have learned along the way. They’ve learned what works for others, but much more importantly is they’ve learned what works for THEM, individually. And that’s what you must do.
With that said, starting with your why’s is easier said than done. Remember the whole, we like to lie to ourselves bit.
Yeah, we do.
In fact, we have been and will continue to do so and so well, we don’t even know what the truth looks like any longer. When the truth does come, even a fluttering of one, we realize that, shit, we really don’t like it.
“I AM FAT!!!” (When did that happen?)
“I don’t look like I’m out of shape, but…my “man down there” doesn’t stay hard throughout a whole bout of sex…” (Does that mean that I’m not in shape?) Yes, in fact it usually does.
The truth sucks sometimes. But sometimes you need to be confronted with your truth. The truth you have made to explain your world. It’s also about your bs, your lies, your insane, yet completely logical reasons for not working out…and how to flip them and use them to start and continue.
In the end, this blog works mainly like many other books and theories on change work. Do the “W*” word and see results. Don’t do the “W” and just read it, and bitch at the person for not knowing what he’s talking about.
Remember the power to change is yours. It’s always been yours, it’ll always be yours. But it requires the “W” word. And only you know how much “W” you really do, and how much you’ve justified not doing. Stop justifying NOT doing it, and start justifying doing it MORE.
Therefore, do the “W” with Rule #1: Stop Being So Logical.
Logical equals, I want to lose 12 pounds. I want to get toned. Good. That’s about as inspiring as saying, I want to make $5 more dollars this year than last. Probably attainable, but what motivation does that give you to start and continue something you don’t currently enjoy doing?
Go “crazy” and be honest–the ugly honesty that comes with inspiration. I want to look better than my sister. Oh, that’s not nice, but it’s probably true. I want my boyfriend/girlfriend to be jealous when the guy/girl walking down the street turns his/her head when I walk by. Damn straight you do.
Now that’s more like it. Let your emotions take over for a while. Stop being so damn politically correct when you allow yourself to dream. Open up and be honest with yourself for once. Since the first day of school, if not before, we’ve learned that the only way to function in society is to be PC and with it we’ve forgotten what the truth looks like, even when we’re talking to ourselves.
So let your honesty punch yourself in the face. You don’t need to share it…it’s yours, just like your body. Find the emotional reasons and then do the “W”.
*For those of you that missed it, the “W” word stands for Work.
The next post, we’ll talk about how you’ll get started on that journey.